- Girl: Hey, what's that tiny organ-like instrument in Punch-Drunk Love?
- Boy: Ah, the small organ thingy. I don't know the name. Wait... is it harmonium?
- Girl: Harmonium! Yes! That's it!
- Boy: What's with harmonium?
- Girl: I like how it sounds.
- Boy: You're so random. But yeah, I like how it sounds too. I've read it somewhere that to a synesthete, a harmonium sounds like candy.
- Girl: How could a sound taste like food?
- Boy: Because if you have synesthesia, your brain sorts of mixed of the sensation you perceive through your senses. You can hear food, listen to color, read music, and all that.
- Girl: Like an acid trip.
- Boy: Sorta, but it's not the same with hallucination, they just perceive the world differently.
- Girl: I want to have that condition. I want to hear pineapples, I want to taste accordions, I want to read yellow.
- Boy: You're already easily distracted by colorful objects every time we go out together. And you look stoned most of the time. For the sake of humanity, I think it's better that we'll leave it at that.
- Girl: How does it feel to look down at the top of my head all the time?
- Boy: I don't know. How does it feel to look up at my nostrils all the time?
- Boy: Are you up for something of a masterpiece tonight?
- Girl: Yes, of course. What's in the box?
- Boy: Naked Weapon. A 2002 Hong Kong action-thriller film. It's about a mysterious assassin syndicate, who kidnapped 40 young girls to one secluded island, and trained them to become deadly weapons.
- Girl: Naked weapons.
- Boy: Yes, deadly naked weapons.
- Girl: Sounds like an Oscar material. Put it on.
- Boy: *putting on the film*
- Both: *watching on the film*
- Boy: ... you know, it's a true feminist film. Tough, deadly women... taking over what was used to be a traditional male-masculine role. They're not subjugated, they're not weak. Men, on the other hands, men are the weaklings. The prey.
- Girl: Yes. The director is clearly a feminazi. That's why s/he made those women wearing tight, semi-transparent-white t-shirts and uber hot pants while they're in training.
- Boy: So true. He or she's also very intricate in details. All of them must at least have C cups.
- Girl: Consistency. That's a good point in conveying your message.
- Boy: C cup-consistent. You're right, this film is an Oscar material.
- Girl: Though ironically speaking, when it comes to sizes, woman's breasts are not always consistent.
- Boy: What do you mean? One day they can be C, and the next day, go DDD?
- Girl: No, a pair could come in different size.
- Boy: No way.
- Girl: Yes way. You never noticed? It's actually pretty common.
- Boy: Er... not really. I always thought that they're twins.
- Girl: Yes, they're twins, but not so identical. They're quite unique as a matter of fact. That's why I named them.
- Boy: Interesting.
- Girl: Brenda and Stella.
- Boy: So this is Brenda?
- Girl: No. That's Stella. Brenda is the slightly bigger one.
- Boy: Oh. Hi Brenda! Stella!
- Boy: Put on some music, please!
- Girl: Wait, wait, I want you to listen to this one. Squirrel Nut Zippers, I really like this one, it's called The Kraken.
- Boy: Sounds like a circus music.
- Girl: I like circus. Not animal circus though, I feel sorry for them.
- Boy: This actually sounds like some Al Capone kind of circus.
- Girl: And this is the part where they juggle. *air juggling*
- Boy: Circus jugglers are more fun when they drop the juggling clubs from time to time.
- Girl: *air juggling and dropping the juggling clubs from time to time*
- Boy: Hahahaha. Yeah, like that.
- Girl: Wait, wait, wait. Here comes the best part. The eerie singing!
- Boy: She does sound eerie.
- Girl: Yes. She's inside a cage--
- Boy: --A golden cage.
- Girl: Yes. She's inside a cage, a golden cage, which are being lowered down slowly to the center of the circus arena. Slowly, ever so slowly. She's singing softly, wearing a red dress--
- Boy: --A sexy red dress.
- Girl: Yes, a sexy red dress. She enchants everyone. Her hair is beautiful, long and pitch black, and... well... I'm a bit torn about this part, but yeah...
- Boy: What?
- Girl: Do you think she has beard? Or rather, an elephant nose?
- Boy: Hahahahahaha. There goes the image of the sexy girl in my head.
Suddenly rain falling, cats and dogs
Gallons of water, a thousand frogs
Gushing through hedgerows, look! Falling roofs!
Floating doors and your uncle’s hoofs.
Fridge, telly, all the bowls to keep blueberries
Teapots and the cups, your auntie Jenny, dolled up
Cork screw, chainsaws, funny looking sex toys
And what is that? Shitpiles! Oh boy!
Gallons of water, run through run through!
Everything’s swept away, all gone, thank you!
It’s the flood of the century, stop asking questions.
Fare ye well! Au revoir! You, long time possessions.
Floating, old buckets! Next to that new, spanking jackets!
Pens, roses, books and shoes, float away they go, shoo shoo
Ah, the rain has stopped, the flood no more
Everything’s quiet now, everything’s done for
What have I lost? In the flood of the century
Home, mine has gone. Now I have dead bodies to bury
Then slowly, I begin to notice something a bit scary
It’s void in my heartbeat, something’s lost in a flurry
It might be the case of the flood of the century
—— Risyiana Muthia
Picture was taken from http://www.burnham-on-sea.com/1607-flood.shtml
Yes, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
- Girl: Have you ever seen a donkey?
- Boy: Okaaaay... that's random. Well yeah I have, of course. Why?
- Girl: I have not...
- Boy: Oh, damn. You're missing out much. Donkey is the cornerstone of human's existence. Your life won't be complete before you see a donkey.
- Girl: Hahahaha. Is that so?
- Boy: Yes, donkey to human is like Wapiti to dog.
- Girl: Wapiti the elk?
- Boy: Yes. Exactly.
- Girl: Hahahaha. What the fuck does that mean?
- Boy: Boris Vian once told a story about this dog who saw a wapiti. The dog initially became catatonic.
- Girl: And why is that?
- Boy: Because its life then complete. It has nothing to see in the world any more. Once you saw a wapiti, you practically saw everything. That's why it became catatonic.
- Girl: And donkey to me is wapiti to dog?
- Boy: Yes, but because we human are smarter, we wont become catatonic. We'll just have a slight burst of orgasms. That's what human always feels every time they see a donkey.
- Girl: Tomorrow we'll adopt a donkey. Let's have an endless stream of orgasms.
- Boy: Or maybe a mule...
- Girl: That's a bastard offspring of a donkey and a horse, right? I heard they're always infertile.
- Boy: Why?
- Girl: They're just fucked up. The chromosomes just don't match right, so they're always born infertile. A mule is a dead end, basically.
- Boy: So you got a donkey, then you got a horse, then they fuck and they have a new breed called a mule, and... that's it?
- Girl: Yes, the story ends there.
- Boy: Damn. It's the dead end of the Darwinian evolution.
- Girl: A cul de sac, yes. A Darwinian cul de sac.